When we declare that someone else is in ‘denial’, we are really declaring that we are in pain because of the impact of another’s actions.
I have found that deciding ‘anything’ about another’s intentions is more likely to cause further disappointment than a recognition from the other person of the offending actions. There is good reason for this. As much as it hurts to be treated unfairly, it is more likely that the person doing the hurting does not set out to deliberately cause you harm, but is, in fact, doing the best they can to survive their own pain and struggles. This is not to excuse the behaviour but in changing our own perspective we free ourselves from the ties that bind us to more pain, hurt and struggle. My father used to say, “forgive everybody everything'” and in so doing, we free ourselves from the stronghold and reclaim the power we had given away.
© Patricia Herreen 2012